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  • Writer's pictureCeleste Boudreaux

Multiplicity

Updated: May 1

I used to think I was alone

here within myself

alone in my struggle to be

who

I thought

I ought

to be


But now I find

a multiplicity:

wary orphans

grim guardians

hiders and controllers

appeasers and attackers

parts that shrink

and parts that expand

all locked in a circular dance

of self-reinforcing

protective strategies


all believing in a dangerous world

where deadly arrows of

criticism, blame and failure

fly without warning

and doing their part to

dodge the arrows

or catch them in mid-air

or be so indifferent

that they bounce off

their armadillo armor


Now I see

each heavy laden part

with sympathetic eyes

I long to gather the little ones

into maternal arms

to hug their heartache

and rock away the wrongs


to release the protectors

grateful for

the parts they played

when I was young and frail

I salute their service

with a metal of honor

and grant them permission

to loosen their grasp

and try something new


to refocus my lens

till the arrows I had seen

slicing the night

of a dangerous world

become what they are

just buzzing flies

with hardly any bite


to take the lead

with calm composure

content

to step

into

myself


by Celeste Boudreaux, April 2023



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